Porcupine’s Dilema

I find myself craving to be around others. But in doing so, I need to open myself up to the possibility of pain. Which leaves me struggling with the choice of cold and safe or warm and hurt. And in doing so, I waste so much time measuring the distance I should keep, one where I can stay comfortably tepid. Where the wavelengths of shivers, both from space and from nerves, become identical.

Yet in doing so, I cannot learn. For blaming your fears on your environment is just as productive as blaming your environment on your fears. And I know in my heart, to be skewered by companionship is worth the pain, because the body will adapt. It will heal around the wound so those you let close become part of you. And any affection is worth the infection.

And at the end, I’d rather die warm than live cold.