Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon

When I was younger, I had to perform in a youth choir pageant at church. Every year, everyone in my age group had to do it. Even both of my brothers, who were older, had to do it in prior. And now my time had come.

But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to learn the songs. I didn’t want to sing in front of a room full of strangers. I didn’t want to feel like this was pass/fail test to get into Heaven one day.

Like eternal damnation was reliant on if I could learn the words to Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.

So my brothers, bless their souls, taught me a little trick. They told me that if you say “watermelon, watermelon, watermelon” over and over to the tune of the song, it would look like you were singing the words. They said this was the key to lip-syncing along with the rest of the kids. That I would never need to learn the words, I would never need to worry about people hearing my voice. All I had to say was “watermelon, watermelon, watermelon”.

And so I did. And I think it’s important to mention, I did do it wrong.

I was very clearly saying “watermelon” over and over as fast as I could.

But at least I didn’t have to sing. I didn’t have to say anything else. Because the watermelons were there to cover all meaning.

Even if I couldn’t hide it.

So yes, to answer your question, I’m fine. Things have been great.

Never been better.

I don’t think about you at all.

Watermelon.

Watermelon.

Watermelon…