Kin

Must I look forward to funerals
For us to all be in the same room?

Must I hear through matriarchal murmurs
Whispers of events that deserve to be exclaimed?

Must I, alone, reminisce these recurring memories
That felt better than reality,
As if they were a collective dream?

I once believed blood was thicker than water

But I’ve walked out on my fair share of thin ice

To realize blood can also freeze.

And I know I’m to blame
For I’m the one
A herd would like to distance from

But a black sheep still has wool
That can keep someone warm
If they are willing to reach out

So I’m sorry
If these memories that mean so much to me
Are tainted by my presence

But I love you all
Past, Present, and Future

And I hope one day
You can forgive me
And think of me fondly
While we regale
The memories
We never got to make