Shh

I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing

So instead, I choose to say nothing

Forgetting that sometimes silence
Is the most damning confession
That I believe there is nothing worth hearing
To come from my mouth

But I’m also afraid
That those in my life
Who I love dearly
Will, after a while,
Forget what my voice sounds like

So I scream

Because I don’t know how to express fear any other way

I don’t know how to show
That I’m in pain
Without some strain
On my vocal chords

That is why I’ll play the fool

The town drunk in the town square
For if I’m to have the town’s attention

Then I can at least make them laugh,
So they won’t be concerned

I can at least make a joke,
So they won’t think I’m serious

Because comedies are quoted
While dramas are internalized

And if I’m too afraid to speak,
Then at least this way
I can know
If anyone was listening